Hi, welcome to CafScene. What can I get you?

What kind of hot chocolate do you have?

Well, we've got milk chocolate, white chocolate, dark chocolate, vanilla fudge, mint, and banana.

Banana?

What, no gorgonzola passion fruit?

Gor... what?

The Usual has gorgonzola passion fruit hot chocolate.

DB, they do not. Stop hassling the poor guy. The banana hot chocolate, is it high in potassium?

I have no idea. I can check if you like... Do you have food allergies?

No no, I'm just kind of in the mood for potassium. Maybe a perky little radioactive isotope.

HG, I think it's probably just banana flavoring. If you want potassium, you'll have to eat a real banana. Or chew road salt.

Hm. You're probably right. I hate the taste of banana anyway.

Yeah, you'd be better off with the road salt.

Still, I feel like something alkali and monovalent. Something with oomf. Can I get a dark hot chocolate with a shot of cesium?

Uh... we don't...

I'll handle this, Rick.

Cheese it, it's the manager!

What's with you and the cheese today?

I'll have to ask you "gentlemen" to leave.

Hey, we're sorry for giving the guy a hard time. We're not trying to be jerks, honestly, it's just something we do at all the coffee shops.

We always tip well.

I don't care. CafScene has a minimum dress code, and you two are breaking it. Violently.

What?!

Since when does a coffee shop have a dress code?

It's the policy across the entire chain.

What, so it's "No Cape, No Tights, or No Service"?

Yeah, pretty much.

That's a little ridiculous. Just ask any of the other coffee shops or cafés in town, we're two of the best customers they have.

That may be, but it doesn't change the policy. You two are welcome to come back anytime when you're wearing normal clothes, so long as you don't start any trouble.

Who wants to start trouble? All I want is a dark hot chocolate with a shot of cesium.

Try telling that to the Usual Coffee Shop on Meadowvale that was was burned down by killer robots.

That was an isolated incident.

Or what about the Starbucks on 129th Ave?

It's not our fault it was built directly under a military flight path.

It doesn't even have to be a radioactive isotope, I'm easy to please.

Ixnay on the esiumsay...

We don't serve cesium. And we don't serve guys like you, either.

I think this dress code of yours is just thinly veiled superhero discrimination.

Hey, I really don't have a problem with you meta-humans --

Uh oh.

We are NOT "meta-humans"! I HATE that word! We are SUPERHEROES, no matter what some pinhead bunch of comic book publishers and their trademark lawyers say! And as for your "dress-code" --

All right, Mr. "Superhero", if you guys don't get your meta-heinies out of my coffee shop right now, I'm calling some real law enforcement. You know, guys with badges. Now OUT!

Okay, okay. Come on, HG.

Have it your way, buddy. But next time you're getting mugged in some alley by reptoid warriors, don't expect us to save you.

Reptoid warriors?

It was the best I could come up with. I got flustered. Great Feynman's Ghost, the nerve of that guy!

Don't let the haters get you down, HG.

"CafScene", yeah that's a really clever pun there, meathead... more like "ObScene", if you ask me...

Django Djava?

You bet your little red cape we'll go to Django Djava... Carl's a man who appreciates what we've done for this city... "CafScene", hah! Guy wouldn't know a caffeine molecule if it sorbed on his shravis...

All right! Save it for the internal monologue, will you?

Sorry, DB.