Episode 83

...from the Files of Hydrogen Guy

Part III

Previously: Former henchman Hank Hernandes discovers a kind of mutant slime that can shape itself into anything he desires! Hank uses the slime to rob a bank, and Deuterium Boy tries to stop him and fails - because somehow the slime prevents him from using his elemental powers. Hydrogen Guy and Deuterium Boy later discover that the slime's cellular structure is very similar to that of a sentient, telepathic brain. Meanwhile, Hank and his new allies (fellow henchmen Eggs and Tony) plot their next caper.

Eighteen tons of ultra-high-tech crime fighting technology hurtles through the streets of Maple Ridge City, sirens blaring and lights flashing! Citizens know to keep their heads down, because the War Rig is on the move!

Well, sort of.

Chuck War
Dammit! C'mon buddy, you can't turn left here! The sign says, no left turn from three-thirty to five, Mondays to Friday! [HONNNK] C'mon, I'm in a hurry here!!

Hydrogen Guy
Y'know, if you just gave us our De Broglie boards back --

Chuck War
I don't want to hear from you right now.

Deuterium Boy
Wouldn't it have been quicker to take the Hydrogen Ducts?

Hydrogen Guy
The inter-city network's closed for repairs. We'd have to re-route through Cloverdale.

Deuterium Boy
Oh, that's right, I forgot. Blast the city and their damned sewer mains.

Helium Girl
Hey, like, Hydrogen Guy?

Hydrogen Guy
Yes, Helium Girl.

Helium Girl
I was just thinking about that thing, you know, you were telling us about, where like our powers don't work on anybody's brains, and stuff like that?

Hydrogen Guy
Right.

Helium Girl
So, like, just the fact that we're like, conscious, and thinking and everything, that just kind of repels the elemental field, right?

Hydrogen Guy
Sort of, yeah. Like I said, it seems to be a kind of emergent quantum phenomenon --

Helium Girl
Yeah yeah, okay, whatever. So, like, none of our powers should be able to effect anyone's brains, right? Including our own?

Hydrogen Guy
Yes...

Helium Girl
So, like, why is it when we turn into gas, our bodies don't turn into gas and like, leave our brains behind?

Hydrogen Guy
Uh... well, when we dissolve, that's sort of a different kind of manifestation of the elemental field , we, er, sort of --

Deuterium Boy
We have no idea.

Helium Girl
So, it's just like a great big fat hole in the plot that you could drive a truck through.

Chuck War
Where? Can I get there from here?

Hydrogen Guy
No no, Chuck, we're talking about something else.

Deuterium Boy
Yeah, it's a hole, kind of. See, we have two kinds of powers. The first kind is where we perform a kind of action-at-a-distance on atoms without actually changing what kind of atoms they are. We just reach out with our minds and alter the states of the deuterium atoms in Chuck's dashboard hula dancer, for example.

Chuck War
Hey, leave Mimi alone.

Deuterium Boy
But, even though we've pushed the deuterium atoms into another state of being, they're still deuterium atoms, right?

Helium Girl
Right.

Deuterium Boy
We've apparently broken the law of conservation of energy, and the law of increasing entropy, and a few other paltry laws of thermodynamics, but if you say there's an elemental "deuterium field" that your mind manipulates, which then in turn affects the deuterium atoms in Mimi, that's all readily explainable.

Hydrogen Guy
I can show you the math if you like.

Helium Girl
Ohmygod, don't!

Deuterium Boy
Anyway, the second kind of powers we have are where we assume some or all of the properties of the elements ourselves. Like altering our densities so we can float, super-atomic speed, and turning into gas. Things that seem more like magic, violating conservation of mass. And to be honest, we have almost no idea how those work.

Hydrogen Guy
We can sort of wave our hands around and make guesses, but we really don't know. We know they have something to do with the elemental fields, because when we turn to gas, there's a measurable effect on nearby atoms similar to when we use our other powers. But we don't know how the elemental field turns us to gas, or why it works on our brains when more straightforward atomic manipulation doesn't.

Helium Girl
So, it's, like, a plot hole.

Hydrogen Guy
Yeah, it's a plot hole.

Chuck War
Seems to me like you're going to a lot of work to explain one little thing. DB couldn't turn to gas when wrapped in slime. Therefore, don't get wrapped in slime in the future. End of story.

Deuterium Boy
You make it sound so easy.

Hank never thought of himself as a strategist in any sense - maybe that was to his advantage - but a second bank heist, without anything that one could call planning behind it, a few hours after a successful one that he'd been planning for six weeks, struck him as a really bad idea.

So when Eggs suggested the repeat performance, he was a little lukewarm on the prospect.

Hank
Yer nuts.

Eggs Naw, naw, it's a great idea! Strike while the slime is hot.

Tony
Eggs, man, the cops'll be on high alert, and so'll the tights. Specially after that humiliation Hank gave Deuterium Boy. Man, that was brutal!

Hank
Heh, yeah it was, wasn't it, Tony?

The trio were driving back to Hank's in Hank's rusted white van. Hank - or "the Slime Boss" as Tony had started calling him - had just dropped $5,000 on an untraceable set of 9mm British sub-machine-guns, which were still in their crates in the back.

Hank
But yeah, I got away with it once, I don't wanna push it by doing it again so soon. You never wanna do the same thing to many times, that's how you get caught. C'mon, you know that, Eggs.

Eggs leaned forward from the back seat so he could gesture emphatically in front of the gear shift.

Eggs
Yeah, yeah, of course. I learned dat in my second year of kinnergarten. But what I also learned, was dis - you gotta get dat left hook in when dere still reelin' from your right, right?

Hank
Hey, hey, watch it! You almost right-hooked me into neutral!

Eggs
Sorry, but listen. You did the Commerce at, what, twelve thirty, right? It's quarter past four now. Dey've only had less than four hours to absorb da shock. Dere just figgerin' out what you did.

Hank
Mm-hm.

Tony
I dunno, Eggs, they probably know who Hank is by now. It's not like any of our rap sheets is exactly top secret.

Eggs
Tony, you ain't listenin'. Sure, maybe dey've figured out dere Bucket of Scum Man is Hank Hernandes, sure, whatever. But what dere expectin' is Hank to be either hightailin' it for Prince George or somethin', out spendin' his money, or just holin' up and layin' low. What I'm sayin' is, we could probably walk into another bank, clean it out with slimy's help, and walk out again before anyone realises we done it twice. Dere not expectin' it.

Hank
Yeah... and it's almost closing. They'll be stacked with cash and just looking forward to going home.

Eggs
Exactly, Hank. Now y'see what I'm sayin'. With da slime dere, if we make it as quick as we can, nothin' fancy, we can pull this off like a one-two shot.

Hank agreed. They made a quick stop back at Hank's for essentials (ski-masks, bathroom break, steal a get-away car), and a shade over half an hour later, Bucket of Scum Man made his second appearance of the day at the Confederation Bank at the corner of 203rd and Ising, along with two masked compatriots carrying 9mm Sten MK VI's.

As the customers and bank manager obligingly lay on the floor with their hands where those in authority could see them, Hank carried the bucket to the counter. The tellers were cowering in a group as far from the counter as they could. Hank thought as he set down the bucket of gelatinous green goop that the tellers at the first bank seemed to handle things far more manfully.

Hank
Now, I would appreciate it very much if you could place all of the unmarked bills at your disposal in a bag, and brought it up here. No hundreds, it's gettin' hard to find anyone but you guys who'll take'em.

The tellers remained frozen in place. Hank sighed.

The slime reared up from the bucket and formed itself into a demonic head and neck.

it roared.

The tellers scattered, colliding and tripping over each other to comply. Hank smirked back at his gun-toting friends as the slime sank back into the bucket.

Despite their jelly-like constitution, the tellers were remarkably insistent. In less than ten minutes, Hank was issuing his order for all concerned to remain face down on the floor for the count of one hundred, and the trio was slipping out the back door to freedom.

Or so they thought.

Voice Over Loudspeaker
FREEZE! DROP YOUR WEAPONS, THIS IS THE POLICE!

Hank and the others had emerged into a lane behind the bank, which they now saw had been blocked by three MRPD squad cars and a ghost car. Six police officers in combat gear trained rifles on them. Two plainclothesmen - Special Agent Parker and the MRPD's Peterson - stood behind them. Peterson was operating the speaker.

Tony
Aw, shit. We're screwed.

Eggs
Huh. Guess I ain't so smart after all. Think we can run fast enough to get to the car?

Tony
I ain't tryin' it.

Hank
I dunno if you guys wanna try and shoot our way outta this --

Tony
You think we're crazy?!

Eggs
If dey take us we ain't got no one to get us out again. We'll do a stretch for sure.

Hank was about to say that it was better than nothing - nothing, that is, being dead - when the bucket in his hand began to shake violently. Hank dropped it in alarm, and the contents seemed to explode into the air. The three hoods caught a glimpse of something with wings moving very, very fast towards the police blockade. Eggs shouted for them to get down, and it took less than a heartbeat's reflection for the others to decide this was a prudent suggestion.

Hank hit the ground as he heard shouts of alarm from the police, and gunshots. The shouts became terrible screams, and the gunshots became more sporadic. Eggs wished he could shut his ears as tightly as his eyes. Hank glanced up only once, catching a glimpse of something hydra-like, with blades and talons at the end of its serpentine limbs. He immediately looked away.

One hundred twenty seconds seemed like one hundred twenty hours, but finally the terrible sounds stopped; and even more terrible silence followed, punctuated by a whoosh and a clank marking the slime's return, that shook Hank most of all. He pushed himself to his feet, deliberately not looking at the spectacle in front of them. He couldn't help look at the bucket, though; he felt slightly sick to see that there seemed to be slightly more slime than before, and it was now a more ferric brown than it had been. Otherwise, it looked just as before.

Eggs
Let's get outta here.

Eggs and Tony were once again standing beside him. Hank's "Yeah" caught in the back of his throat. He picked up the bucket and started towards the car.

Tony
You're bringing it with you?! Are you nuts?!

Hank looked down at the slime and suppressed a shudder.

Hank
I don't think I got much choice anymore. C'mon, let's scoot before anymore cops show up.

At a run, they made it back to the car without incident. The money they through in the trunk; Eggs drove and Tony took the passenger seat, leaving Hank alone with the bucket in the Volvo's back seat. Eggs gunned the motor and floored it, making the car peel out of its parking spot in a maneuver worthy of a Camaro.

Hank was about to breathe a sigh of relief when a siren and the loudest horn he'd ever heard sounded behind them. Looking back he saw a massive semi rig finish a chaotic U-turn in the middle of 203rd and come bearing down on them.

Hank
It's the tights!

Eggs
Buckle up, I'll shake'em!

Hank
Eggs -- !

The Volvo shot out of the lane and cut across traffic to make a sudden and unannounced left turn. Eggs followed it almost immediately with a right, then another left, a shortcut through a gas station, then another right. Hank was starting to feel dizzy.

Tony
Jeezus, Eggs, you gonna get us killed!

Eggs
Shaddup and lemme drive, Tony!

He glanced in the rear-view. The War Rig was still behind them, and gaining.

Eggs
Dammit, why di'n't I take the Old's insteada dis gutless t'ing?

Tony
Right now I'm jus' thankful Volvos are built like tanks. God bless the side impact beams!

Hank
Eggs, pull off into the mall parkin' lot up ahead.

Eggs
Whatcha t'inkin', we gonna stand and fight?

Hank
Yeah, I think we better.

He glanced down at the bucket. The slime was bubbling ominously.

Meanwhile, in the War Rig --

Deuterium Boy
They're heading for the mall!

Chuck War
I see'em.

Helium Girl
Okay, I like shopping as much as the person - okay okay, I love shopping - but, like, isn't the middle of a high-speed chase, like, a really bad time to go mall walking?

Hydrogen Guy
They're getting out - it looks like they're waiting for us.

Deuterium Boy
We wouldn't be lucky enough for them to be surrendering, would we?

Chuck War
I don't think so, they're aiming at us.

The War Rig pulled into the lot and was continuing to bear down on the now stationary Volvo, parked askew in the middle of an empty section on the edge of the lot. Eggs and Tony raised their guns, and began shooting at the oncoming Rig. Chuck War grinned as the bullets bounced harmlessly off the armoured windshield.

Chuck War
Hah! They'll have to do better than that, this stuff's rated for level three blaster fire.

Chuck applied the engine brakes. The War Rig ground to a stop twenty feet away from their opponents.

Chuck War
Are we gonna use the plan we discussed before?

Hydrogen Guy
Unless you have a better one?

Chuck War
Nope, I think that'll work just fine... C'mon, DB, let's get the equipment ready.

Hydrogen Guy
We'll keep this lot occupied.

Deuterium Boy
Give'em hell, HG.

Chuck War
And get them to stop scratching my paint with their bullets.

Chuck and Deuterium Boy got up and disappeared into the back of the Rig's extended cab. hydrogen Guy looked back at Helium Girl and grinned.

Hydrogen Guy
Ready?

Helium Girl
Yah, sure. But like, how do we get out of the truck with those losers shooting at us?

Hydrogen Guy
Air vents.

Helium Girl
Oh yah, of course!

Hydrogen Guy
Just don't take a wrong turn and wind up in the air conditioner, it'll ruin your hair.

Helium Girl
Ohmygod, okay! Thanks for the warning... Hey wait, are you making fun of me?

But Hydrogen Guy had already dissolved into hydrogen gas and was drifting into dashboard vents. Helium Girl shrugged and followed him.

Eggs swore and stopped shooting. Tony followed suit.

Eggs
Dis ain't doin' any good. I don't t'ink dey're even in dere!

Tony
They's in there a minute ago. I don't see'em now, though.

Hank stood around on the other side of the car. The bucket was on the pavement next to him.

Hank
I dunno. It might be some kinda trap.

Eggs turned his head to look at him.

Eggs
Long as I gotta hold of dis piece, I ain't worried about -- UNGH!

He was interrupted by a solid kick to the chin from Helium Girl's designer boot. His head snaps back and he crumples against the car. Tony swings his gun around and points it at the floating superheroine. She blasts the gun out of his hand with a red helium particle beam.

Tony
AUGH!

Helium Girl
Oh my god, like, that was way too easy.

Hank was about to respond when he received a solid whack across the back of the head. The world went dark, and he fell to the ground at Hydrogen's Guys feet. Hydrogen Guy slipped his Hydrogen Blackjack back into his Useful Things belt.

Hydrogen Guy
Mostly. I -- uh oh.

A large brown tentacle snaked its way out of the bucket and wrapped around Hydrogen Guy's leg. He reached for the Ruler of Elendil, but before his hand reached the weapon he was lifted into the air, and thrown over the car. Hydrogen Guy landed halfway between the Volvo and the War Rig, crumpled into a rather undignified position.

Hydrogen Guy
Of course you realise, this means war. Ow...

Helium Girl
Hydrogen Guy! Are you okay?

Tony
Serves him right you little -- c'mere!

Tony swung his meaty fist at Helium Girl, who dodged skillfully out of the way. She aimed a kick at Tony's head; the experienced boxer ducked, then reached out and grabbed hold of Helium Girl's ankle.

Helium Girl
Eek! Let go, you creep!

Tony
Whatever you say.

He grabbed at her other ankle, and holding her by both legs, swung her around and then flung her aside. Helium Girl tumbled through the air for several meters, then managed to right herself and land gracefully on the ground.

Helium Girl
Oh, that is like such an invasion of my personal space! You are gonna be so sorry you did that!

Tony grabbed his gun, then dropped it again - it was still too hot to handle. Nearby, Eggs got painfully to his feet. He rubs his chin with the but of his gun.

Eggs
Oo-er. Ya get da number o' dat asteroid?

Tony
There!

Eggs
The chicky, huh? Yow!

He leapt aside as a particle beam ricochets off the side of the car. He returns fire with the Sten MK VI, only to have it shot out of his hand, just as Tony did.

In case the regular reader is wondering - yes, Helium Girl's been practising on the target range recently.

Eggs
Damn! Dat's it, let's snap'er in half!

Tony
Right behind you, Eggs!

Helium Girl
Ha! Just try it, you big dumb uglies!

They rushed her, and Helium Girl found herself in the midst of a fray. Fisticuffs and acrobatics ensued.

Meanwhile, Hydrogen Guy was attempting to sneak up on the volatile bucket of slime. Helium Girl, he decided, had the physical side of the contest under control. This is not to imply that Hydrogen Guy was being unchivalrous, letting Helium Girl handle all the hard work of mopping the parking lot with a pair of muscled thugs. On the contrary - Helium Girl, despite her slight and feminine physique, enjoyed this sort of work., and would have been highly insulted had Hydrogen Guy in any way implied she couldn't handle it.

Besides, the slime was, like, totally icky, and Hydrogen Guy was welcome to it.

With the Ruler of Elendil - Measuring Stick of Righteous Retribution - drawn and ready, Hydrogen Guy rounded the car. Hank Hernandes stood with his back to Hydrogen Guy, apparently watching his cronies fight.

Hydrogen Guy
All right, Hernandes. Back away from the slime and tell it to behave itself. The jig, as they said in former times, is up.

Hank turned towards him. He was cradling the bucket in his arms, and tendrils of the slime had wrapped themselves around Hank's head and neck. He smiled disconcertingly.

Hank
Not yet, meatling.

Multiple vines erupted from the bucket and wrapped themselves around the Ruler in Hydrogen Guy's hand. It took all his strength to wrench it free, and he leapt back to avoid their grasp. Although, he didn't really know what the limit of their grasp was, did he? Nonetheless, the tendrils didn't pursue him, but waved in the air where he'd stood.

Hydrogen Guy
Call it off, Hernandes... Hernandes?

Was it Hernandes? Hydrogen Guy wasn't sure. The thermal vibrations of the hydrogen atoms in his body felt... wrong. Too slow, like the body had cooled ... to the same temperature as the slime. Suddenly Hydrogen Guy realised... when he'd knocked Hernandes out, the slime had taken control.

As if intent on confirming his hypothesis, the slime began to creep out of its bucket and envelop Hernandes' body. It spread around him, forming a greenish brown humanoid shell with no discernible neck. The surface rippled, and seemed to harden into a knobbly, plate-like structure. The slime around Hank's right hand extended and hardened further into scimitar-like blade nearly a meter long; the other hand ended in five waving finger-like tendrils. The only trace of Hank Hernandes visible beneath the scum-coating was his eyes.

Eyes that did not look entirely pleased with current developments.

The Scum-Thing advanced towards Hydrogen Guy, swiping at him with its blade. Hydrogen Guy attacked with the Ruler, forcing it to counter him. He attempted to engage the thing in a duel, which proved challenging - for one, he quickly noticed that its armour plating was very hard, when it wanted to be. When it didn't want to be, it had the annoying habit of growing extra limbs or tentacles that tried to grab at him. He growled in annoyance as he hacked through an appendage trying to entangle his legs.

Hydrogen Guy
Hey, now! Fight fairly, dammit.

The Scum-Thing responded by nearly slicing his left arm off.

Close combat, under such conditions, proved unworkable. Not only was the slime-augmented Hernandes (or the Hernandes-augmented slime - Hydrogen Guy still hadn't worked out the semantics of who he was fighting) much stronger, with a reach that seemed to vary at will, and capable of growing extra limbs -- well, what more does one need? As Hydrogen Guy was forced to block two-handed a particularly egregious blow that promised to scalp him to a depth of five centimetres, the Scum-Thing's fingers wrapped around his throat and started to choke him. He tried to bring the Ruler up to cut himself free, but he found the blade which he had just blocked was wrapping itself around his sword arm. The creature seemed to be trying to pull Hydrogen Guy into itself.

Hydrogen Guy
Aack! Augh...

Deuterium Boy
Hey, Swampy! Behind you!

The thing hadn't time to turn around before it was hit with a high-pressure stream of steaming, sub-zero liquid. It tried to struggle, but the liquid nitrogen acted quickly. It was frozen to solidity in seconds.

Chuck War hit the shut-off on the industrial size LN2 pump and the stream died away, like a cryogenic fire-hose. He had the equipment on a cart which he and Deuterium Boy had wheeled behind the combatants; Deuterium Boy, in thick gloves, was holding a stiff, frost-covered hose pointed at the rock-hard ex-Slime-Thing.

DB grinned with deep satisfaction.

Deuterium Boy
Sorry about the cold, "Hank". But I guess you can't have it all, right?

Chuck War
Are they all right?

Deuterium Boy peeled himself off the frozen hose and ran over to the now-immobile monster. Hydrogen Guy was still partially enveloped; one side of his face and both arms were covered in frozen slime.

Chuck War
HG, are you okay?

Hydrogen Guy
Uck... yeah... Just a really bad case of chilblains...

Deuterium Boy
Sorry, HG.

Hydrogen Guy
Not at all, DB, can't be helped... Still, it's like somebody dared me to stick my entire face to a cold flagpole...

Deuterium Boy was scanning the Scum-Thing with his Scan-O-Matic.

Deuterium Boy
Hernandes is still alive, at least I'm getting a heartbeat and brain activity... bet he'll have a nasty case of frost bite when we chip him outta there.

Hydrogen Guy
How long will it stay frozen?

Chuck War
We'll pull you out then give it another blast, and that oughta hold it until we can get it into a secure container.

Hydrogen Guy
Good, DB get me out... gently, gently... OW!!

Deuterium Boy
Sorry. Look at it this way, you won't have to shave that side for a while.

Later that evening, Hydrogen Guy still had an oddly-shaped red mark on one side of his face. And perhaps it was psychological, but he still felt cold... He was curled up on the couch in the Hydrogen Cave, nursing his fourth hot chocolate, when Deuterium Boy stepped out of the elevator.

Deuterium Boy
Hey, HG. How's it going?

Hydrogen Guy
I still feel like washing my face with lip balm, but all right. You finish up in the lab upstairs?

Deuterium Boy crossed the Cave's living room to the kitchen and grabbed a coke from the fridge. He leaned against the counter and popped it open.

Deuterium Boy
For tonight, anyway. This afternoon's shenanigans set me back a bit timewise, but not too bad. Did you talk to Chuck?

Hydrogen Guy
Yeah. You want the breakdown?

Deuterium Boy
Of course.

Hydrogen Guy
The good news is Parker and Peterson managed to survive the massacre at the bank. Peterson got off with some deep scratches, he'll be off active duty for a while. Bad news is Parker's probably gonna lose the arm.

Deuterium Boy
Ouch.

Hydrogen Guy
Coulda been a lot worse... ah, Hernandes is still in critical condition, but he's likely to pull through. The combination of severe frost-bite and whatever the slime did to him put him into some kind of coma. The two thugs Helium Girl roughed up are fine, just some bruises, though the one called Eggs is still saying he's going to sue her for aggravated assault.

Deuterium Boy
Hah.

Hydrogen Guy
Yeah. And the slime...

Deuterium Boy
In the nearest incinerator?

Hydrogen Guy
No, it's gone to the SHVD bio-lab on the Island, by secure transport. They're not sure what they're going to do with it. Parker says destroy it, obviously, but his superiors want it studied. There's even some argument that since it might be sentient, it would be unethical to destroy it. Chuck said he heard someone say it should be sent to the Facility, and he wasn't sure if they were joking or not.

Deuterium Boy
Unethical... jeezus. It killed six cops.

Hydrogen Guy
I know, I know. Hey, if we were in Texas, we could try and get it the death penalty.

Deuterium Boy
Never thought I'd wish we lived in Texas...

He finished off his coke and tossed the can in the recycling bin.

Deuterium Boy
All right. I'm heading home.

Hydrogen Guy
Have a good one, DB.

Deuterium Boy
You too... hey, why are you here, anyway? Why aren't you over at Kate's concocting a ridiculous excuse for why it looks like a snowman gave you a hicky?

Hydrogen Guy
Uh, heh... let's just say my face this afternoon isn't the only thing in my life that's a little frosty at the moment.

Deuterium Boy
Oh?

Hydrogen Guy
Yeah.

Deuterium Boy
You wanna talk about it?

Hydrogen Guy sipped his cocoa and shook his head.

Hydrogen Guy
Maybe later. Not tonight.

Deuterium Boy
Okay. Anyway... g'night, Jim.

Hydrogen Guy
'Night, Dave.

Days Later, Near Midnight
SHVD Biological and Meta-Biological Research Laboratory
Nanaimo, B.C.

"Down here, Luke."

Junior Research Scientist Luke Pynter locked his office door and headed down the hall to where his senior colleague Maritza Kindel was waiting. He shoved his keys in his jacket pocket and then gave himself a quick pat-down to make sure he had everything.

Dr. Kindel was still in her lab-coat, though she had her overcoat and bag slung over her arms.

"Thanks again for staying so late," she said.

"No worries," Pynter replied. "I'm just glad to get all that done so we don't have to deal with it again..."

"I really appreciate it. You want a ride home?"

"Thanks, yeah. I'll walk in tomorrow and pick up my bike."

They reached the ornate brass doors of the elevator. Dr. Kindel pushed the "down" call button.

"Okay. I just have one thing to do downstairs before I go. Do you mind coming with me?"

"No, not at all."

"I just want to check on our new inmate."

Luke looked surprised. "You mean that slime thingy? Hey, I've been wanting to have a look at it, but I'm not allowed down there."

Dr. Kindel smiled. "Well, if you promise not to tell, I'll let you peek. But it's not that exciting. It's been mostly unresponsive since we got it, and it's kept inert at four degrees Celsius when it's in storage."

The elevator arrived. They stepped in and Dr. Kindel used her key to select Sub-Basement 2 - the highest-security level to which non-military scientists were allowed access.

"Yeah, but it killed six police officers and is supposedly telepathic... and I heard it can neutralise Hydrogen Guy's powers."

Maritza looked at him sharply. "Who told you that?"

"Uh... I don't know. It's just something someone said in the coffee room, I don't remember who..."

They rode in silence the rest of the way. At Sub-Basement 2, they stepped off the elevator, and signed in with the security guard. Dr. Kindel led Luke down a hallway, towards the super-power containment cell where Subject MBV-12 (as it was lyrically referred to) was kept.

Maritza pulled out her access card. She paused, and said, "Now, I'm showing this on the condition that no wild rumours get started in the coffee room."

"No, no, of course not!" Luke protested. "Sorry about that..."

"Don't worry about it, it's normal for a high profile subject like this to attract interest. It's just, you know if what you said were true, you and whoever else who were spreading that story around could get in a lot of trouble, and I don't mean just from the Department..."

"I understand. My lips are sealed."

"Good boy."

The cardlock beeped, and the Dr. Kindel opened the door. When they stepped inside the room, Luke was glad he had his jacket on. Maritza turned on the light. The room was just a bare entryway, with little but a table and a couple chairs in it. Beside the table was a wall of what looked like plexiglas (it was actually much much stronger); behind the glass was a dead space, then a second transparent wall. Behind the second wall was the superpower containment cell, where spread in a puddle on the floor was...

Nothing.

"Oh my God," Dr. Kindel whispered in horror, "it's gone!"

Ominous Music!

[fade to black; roll credits]