Episode 92

Chapter 2 of the Winter's Heart Saga

Part III

Previously: When the giant blue diamond the Winter's Heart comes to town, amateur 'wizzard' Adrian Room enlists his cat-burglar friend Sally Kettle to help him get into Maple Ridge's Natural History Museum so he can magically correct the stone's single flaw and thus tap into its arcane secrets. But the spell goes horribly awry (ain't that the way, though?) when the dreaded Ice Witch is released from within the jewel and possesses Sally. Once more on the active roster, La Femme Froid resumes her program of converting the planet into a more conveniently accessed version of Pluto. Our heroes Hydrogen Guy, Deuterium Boy, and Helium Girl - oh, and Gen X Man - tangle briefly with the Ice Witch and learn that she is (a) frighteningly powerful, and (b) undead. They beat a hasty retreat.

Meanwhile, Hans-Raoul and Robyn Cheung, in the midst of an intimate tête-à-tête in re: Robyn's unconscious and uncontrollable demonic powers (these things can put something of a strain on any relationship), are interrupted by a visitor from Hans-Raoul's past - his Uncle Corvath, the very man who imprisoned the Ice Witch in the Winter's Heart several centuries before.

And it's still less complicated than your average "JLA" story arc. Honest.

November, 2002

Hans-Raoul stood in his front office, feeling as if an 800 kilo gorilla of pure stress was squatting on his shoulders. It was a feeling he often had when teetering on the edge of falling into a family crisis. Only today was worse, because apparently his secretary and lover was possessed by some sort of demon.

Well, sometimes you have days like that, he tried telling himself philosophically.

He looked at the elderly man in front of him; white hair and beard, sticking out in several incommensurate directions; wire rim glasses, purely an affectation since his kind never had vision problems; and a rumpled suit with a grey jacket and black pants that looked like something he'd stolen out of Charles Dickens' wardrobe. Actually, knowing Corvath, that was a distinct possibility.

Hans-Raoul
Corvath, this isn't really a good time for a family reunion.

Corvath
I agree completely, Hans-Raoul. We have far more serious problems than whatever childish disputes you have with me or the family.

They both spoke in their native Vallene language.

Hans-Raoul
What are you doing here?

Corvath
I've already told you that. The Ice Witch has been freed from the Winter's Heart, and --

Hans-Raoul
Ah right, yes. The Ice Witch has been freed from the Winter's Heart. That's very serious indeed, Uncle, I agree completely.

Corvath
Well. I'm glad to hear that you think so.

Hans-Raoul
One thing, however. Who exactly is "the Ice Witch", and what in the infinite Mists is "the Winter's Heart"?

Corvath
Hans-Raoul! Val's left teat, boy, you are an imbecile!

Hans-Raoul
I --

Corvath
I gave you my journals from my sabbatical in this realm, didn't I?

Hans-Raoul
Well, yes --

Corvath
You never looked at them, did you?

Hans-Raoul
I've had more important things to do since I got here, Uncle, than read a thousand odd pages of your damned journal! By the way, fashion's changed a bit since your last visit.

Corvath
Your arrogance is staggering, boy! You think you can conquer this realm with no background intelligence --

Hans-Raoul
Conquering isn't exactly the objective.

Corvath
Enough of this bickering cross-talk! Time is short, sit down and listen for a change, will you!

He pointed to Robyn's chair. Hans-Raoul had to literally bite his tongue; he walked behind the desk and sat down. Corvath was obviously wound up enough that it would be quicker just to hear him out than argue.

Hans-Raoul
Fine. I'm listening.

Corvath
At last! Your father will never believe it.

Hans-Raoul
Don't push your luck.

The truth was, Hans-Raoul had never really got along with his family - consisting of his bachelor uncle and father and two mentally negligible twin brothers. His mother had either died or left when he was very young; he did not remember her.

Hans-Raoul had the misfortune of being born into a family completely lacking in ambition, with enough ambition himself for four. As he grew older, he tried to raise his family's status in the Vallene court, only to find every advance he won was inevitably lost by the others' indifference. It was unforgivable.

His elder brothers were only interested in having a good time, a pair of drones everyone found loveable, apparently, except for himself and their creditors. His father had long been obsessed with compiling a traveller's guide to the alternate reality realms beyond the Column, a project he was constantly drafting the rest of the family into helping with by collecting information from one backwater realm or another. Hans-Raoul had lost count of the number of absurd situations he'd fished them out of prior to his break with the family.

His uncle Corvath was a gentleman scholar of a different sort. Like his brother, he was fond of travelling, and was prone to taking long "sabbaticals" as he called them, going native in one realm or another. But his interest was in the eccentric variations of physics and magic from realm to realm, rather than the local culture. He was a master sorcerer, or at least a dabbler, in more realms than Hans-Raoul could count. When at home, he spent most of his time holed away in his study, surrounded by piles of ancient scrolls, books and data readers from every place imaginable and unimaginable.

Corvath was the only one at home when Hans-Raoul had left the Danwoode estate to follow Karten into this realm, and they had not parted on good terms. Corvath did not approve of Karten, because Karten was Viliad, or so Hans-Raoul believed. But, he conceded, he was partly to blame for the estrangement, too. His parting words to Corvath had been harsh, and perhaps a bit rash.

But now at Corvath's insistence, Hans-Raoul pushed all of that aside. Actually, if he hadn't had so many other things on his mind, Hans-Raoul would have candidly admitted his curiosity about what could lather his uncle up enough to drive him out of his study.

Corvath
Well... had you read my journal, you would know of my first encounter with the crew of the Drakkar --

Hans-Raoul
What, you mean that bunch of pirates you sailed around with? That was here?

Corvath
I thought you were supposed to be listening.

Hans-Raoul raised his hands in a gesture of surrender.

Corvath
Yes, well, that encounter was also when I encountered the creature known as the Ice Witch. She was supposedly a mortal woman who had embraced elemental sorcery after her village was wiped out in a winter famine. She commanded a variety of entropically-driven magic that gave her powers over winter, cold and ice, et cetera, and a number of chthonic spirit beings associated with winter --

Hans-Raoul
So she made crops fail, froze babes in the woods, terrorised the local farmers, and so on? Sounds like a pretty typical agrarian bogey.

Corvath
Oh, she was powerful enough, no Vallene, of course. Anyway, the Drakkars and I ended up between her and a jewel known as the Winter's Heart. When I first heard of it, I assumed it was merely an average gemstone with superstitions attached to it, or at most a natural mana battery. But when I saw it with my own eyes - when I felt its presence, Hans-Raoul - I knew it was truly a very frightening entity in its own right. I made up my mind that the sorceress could not be allowed to possess it, even if I had to reveal my identity in order to stop her.

Hans-Raoul
Why?

Corvath
Why? Hans-Raoul, she fully intended to slaughter every living thing on this planet, and turn it into a cold, lifeless husk!

Hans-Raoul stared at his uncle in shock.

Hans-Raoul
And you stopped her?!

Corvath
She defeated the gem's guardians - three girls, no more than children, really - and I was forced to take action. Fortunately I had already been several years in this realm, and had mastered a few powerful spells of my own. I used a trick of folding space-time to imprison her inside the Winter's Heart itself.

Hans-Raoul leapt to his feet, his face flushing red beneath his sandy blond hair.

Hans-Raoul
Mists of Val, Corvath! Do you realise what you did?!

Corvath nodded sadly.

Corvath
I do now. I did not anticipate that she would bond with the evil intelligence within the gem, and become far more powerful than I initially feared. I pray it's not too late --

Hans-Raoul
You and your stupid, misguided, senile sentimentality! Do you realise, if you'd let her have her way back in the beginning, I would never have had to come here?! The Elemental problem would have been solved before it even started!! Corvath, you bleeding-hearted idiot, those people meant nothing to you! It was none of your damned business! And you SAVED THEM, and now Karten and I are the only ones preventing the Elementals from plunging the Column into another bloody civil war!!

Corvath
How dare you speak to me in that way, Hans-Raoul? Your reasoning is faulty, as I've tried to tell you before, and you in your weak-minded arrogance have fallen under the sway of that devil Karten --

Hans-Raoul
Oh, here we go again!

Corvath
Be quiet, Hans-Raoul! No, I am not going to argue with you now about your misguided crusade, we don't have time. Even your appalling, and sadly very Vallene, arrogance towards lesser sentients, I will let pass without comment. But I cannot believe that you've fallen so far as to crudely insult your elder like a common servant! And I will not stand for it!

Hans-Raoul flushed again, this time with shame. Respect for one's ancestors was a core value among the Vallene. In his grandfather's day, he could have been put to death for what he had said. Even now, it was traditional to apologise for showing disrespect, intentional or otherwise, by offering up his life.

He bowed but the words died on his lips. He realised what had happened. If he offered his life to Corvath, he would have been honour-bound to help his uncle in whatever hair-brained scheme he had in mind. Hans-Raoul smiled.

Hans-Raoul
I'm sorry, Uncle. I spoke in anger.

Corvath
Damn you, boy. No, I will not demand satisfaction, unlike you, I have never had the patience for power games... We are digressing grievously. When I left this realm and returned to the estate, I set my mirror to alert me should the Ice Witch escape her imprisonment. That has now happened, today - some fool liberated her inadvertently. I watched the aftermath in the mirror.

Hans-Raoul
Oh. So it's all right then. She still might do my job for me, after all...

Corvath
That is precisely what I fear. I made a grave error in imprisoning her in the Winter's Heart. I feel that anything that happens now is at least partly my fault. She is orders of magnitude more powerful than when we first met. Your Elementals are no match for her, and I fear only we might stand against her.

Hans-Raoul
Ah. Well, thanks for the warning. I'll be sure to get out when things get bad. I'll my do my best to help them along, of course.

Corvath
You're thick as a horse, my boy. I'm telling you, it is my duty to correct my error before she destroys this world. And before the Winter's Heart turns its attention elsewhere.

Hans-Raoul
Uncle, I'm telling you, let it go. At best, it's not your affair, and you've only postponed the inevitable. At worst - well, I know you disagree with me. As long as these entities are confined to this realm, it isn't a problem. Let it go, please.

Corvath
You know I can't. I'm not like you, Hans-Raoul. I cannot count the lives of lesser sentient beings as worth less than our own. Please, my boy, I came to ask for your help.

Hans-Raoul
Uncle, I can't help you! I told you, it goes directly against everything my own interests, and everything I'm trying to achieve! I'm sorry, but that's how it is! I wish you could understand...

Corvath
I do, my boy. I do. You are the one, Hans-Raoul, who doesn't understand. I'm sorry... I'll face the creature alone, then.

Hans-Raoul
Corvath, don't. You might get hurt. Please, just leave it alone.

But his uncle had already removed his hand mirror from the pocket of his vest.

Corvath
I won't ask you to wish me luck, just a fair journey.

Hans-Raoul
Fair journey...

But the old man was already gone. Hans-Raoul sighed, and sank back into Robyn's chair.

The Ice Witch walked thoughtfully through her new palace. A great deal had happened in a very short time, and she needed time to absorb it.

For what seemed like uncountable aeons, there had been nothing. Nothing but her own fragmented awareness, and a presence that she knew as the Winter's Heart. At first she was enraged at the being that had trapped her in that state, then, for a while, a kind of elation as she realised what the Winter's Heart was, and that she was now one with it.

But even that elation wore off, and it was only the burning purity of the Heart itself that kept her mind from dissolving. Time extended infinitely in either direction.

Then suddenly, a powerful attraction broke the local symmetry of her nothing-space. Something yanked the presence she had come to identify as her into a new dimension, and suddenly she found herself with a strange human body, an inexplicable third, weak presence in her head, and a frightening surge of uncontrollable power pouring forth from her.

When she regained lucidity, she realised she was free. She gained enough control over the power - which she realised was another manifestation of her, the Winter's Heart - and directed it skyward. Her final winter had begun, beyond any of her ancient expectations.

Her first test, against a handful of heroes, had proved easy. They were gone for now, but she knew that they and others like them, maybe stronger, would be back. It was time to make a plan for her power, learn about this new world she'd been thrust into, and hopefully, catch her breath. If possible.

Much of the museum was shattered, a consequence of her initial surge of power. A few fascinating things remained - displays of gems and minerals she could adapt into her raiment, giant ossified skeletons of ancient dragons. It might be amusing, she thought, to fill out these skeletons with flesh of ice and animate them into crude servants. The rest of the destruction she would smooth over with walls of ice... they began to form, elegant, impregnable, as the thought crossed her mind.

She paused in front of the remains of a display case which had held semi-precious stones. They lay scattered about her. The backing of the case had been mirrored glass, and she looked over the image before her, critically, for the first time.

She was not too bad, this Sally Kettle. Too short by almost a foot, hair cropped in a ridiculously boyish way, facial features too gentle, too weak, but overall, it would do. She was attractive. Actually, she thought, this apparent weakness could be an advantage. The power she possessed behind such a face might be even more alarming, like the soft, cuddly creature with deadly claws and teeth that slashed your jugular when you tried to pet it.

The personality of Sally Kettle was becoming a nuisance, like a kind of mental round-worm. She squashed its blubbering as best she could. No doubt in a short time she would learn to crush it utterly, but oddly, her power in this respect still seemed incomplete...

She returned to the room where it had all began. She would need some kind of servants, she decided, mortals familiar with this world perhaps. Lieutenants with their own wills, to be used at least until she felt completely in control of her own power. The destruction in this room was absolute, every wall and display case shattered beyond repair and encased in chaotic flows of ice and, in a few extreme corners, frozen air. Three protrusions contained human figures, trapped for the moment in 'living ice'.

She looked them over. The two police officers would be no use to her, and she let them die. The other had possibilities. A thin, balding man, maybe in his late thirties or early forties. A comical wizard's hat was askew on his head, and a startled look on his face. A small, ratty book of spells was frozen midway from his hands to the floor, and his hands were out-stretched as if the book had just slipped from his grasp. He was the one who had brought her here, he had somehow healed the flaw in the Winter's Heart stone and set her free. He could possibly be useful to her...

Adrian, Sally Kettle called him. An amateur sorcerer. No, from her memories, he was too weak and ineffectual to be of much use. Prone to turning back at the last moment when the work started getting dirty... She would look elsewhere for her lieutenants, but she would not let him die just yet. A sorcerer from the modern age might be useful after all, whatever his mortal defects.

Her eyes strayed to the book. Ahhh, yes... The ice around the book began to evaporate away. She stepped forward, bent down and plucked the book from the ice. It was perfectly dry. She flipped though it, scanning the lost Celtic language easily, since it was the same script she had learned at the nunnery, long long ago... She snapped the book shut.

"Adrian, dear," cooed Sally's voice, as she ran a hand across the ice above his brow. His eyes stared unseeing ahead of him, still with that look of mild surprise, as if someone had walked in on him in the bathroom. "You won't mind if I borrow this for a bit, will you? I think I might summon up a playmate or two."

She patted his cheek affectionately, turned, and skipped back down the hall.

The elevator doors swooshed open and Chuck War strode into the Hydrogen Cave. The air was thick and steamy with the smells of coffee, tea and cocoa; the milk steamer had apparently been working overtime.

Chuck War
Sorry I'm late, I had to come all the way from Tunguska.

Hydrogen Guy
At least you didn't have to go home for your parka.

Nearly the full collective of the League of Heroes, local 441, was assembled around the lounge area of the Hydrogen Cave, just off the kitchen nook. Hydrogen Guy and Deuterium Boy, wrapped head to toe in thick woolly blankets, flanked the Rainbow Warrior on the Hydrogen Couch. Gen X Man and Helium Girl sat on the Hydrogen Love Seat, also wrapped in blankets. Helium Girl was doing her best to stay as far away from Gen X Man as possible. Local union rep SuperConductor stood dourly nearby.

Chuck War
You guys still can't be cold, can you? It feels like it's almost 30 degrees in here!

Deuterium Boy sipped a mixture of camomile tea and warm sherry.

Deuterium Boy
It's like the cold doesn't go away... I feel like I swallowed the Antarctic ice shelf.

Hydrogen Guy
Coffee, Chuck?

Chuck War
I'm good, thanks.

Hydrogen Guy
There's no need to brag.

SuperConductor
How are things top-side?

Chuck War
A mess. There's almost two feet piled up out there, and I haven't felt cold like this since I was stationed in Anchorage. I actually caught myself checking for penguins under the truck. Can the city handle this much snow?

Hydrogen Guy
It's B.C., Chuck. People born on the Coast haven't ever seen this much snow, let alone -15 ^oC. They're already calling every city in North American for extra snow removal equipment, and Alaska's sending an icebreaker down for the river. It's a disaster.

Rainbow Warrior
It's an ecological disaster! None of the indigenous species are equipped for this! This could shatter the ecosystem as sure as global warming ever would!

Gen X Man
Yeah, I don't think a letter writing campaign's gonna work on the Ice Bitch either, Gene.

SuperConductor
Gentlemen...

Hydrogen Guy
Actually, Gene's got a point, Josh. If we don't put a stop to this fast, you can kiss the fisheries good-bye. That'll hurt a lot of people.

Chuck War
The weather map looks like nothing I've ever seen. This disturbance is getting worse, and it's spreading. Victoria's reporting almost a foot of snow, and temperatures in Seattle dropped ten degrees in fifteen minutes. There's weird weather happening as far away as Regina and Los Angeles.

Deuterium Boy
The Pineapple Express.

Chuck War
What?

Deuterium Boy
The ocean current that stretches from Hawaii to Vancouver. What happens when the tail end freezes?

Hydrogen Guy
Great Feynman's Ghost...

He threw off his blanket, unintentionally tangling the Rainbow Warrior, stood up and started pacing.

Hydrogen Guy
We have to act fast. We can't let this turn into a siege. But her power, it's amazing... we can't kill her, she commands cold and ice almost as if she were some kind of Elemental. I've never met anyone who defeated us so quickly.

Chuck War
Maybe we need more power.

SuperConductor
Or a better strategy.

Hydrogen Guy
Or both. But we better come up with it fast.

Helium Girl
Can't we just, like, blast her with a giant heat ray or something? Just totally melt the bejeezus out of her?

Chuck War
Exactly what I was thinking.

Helium Girl
Yeah!

Hydrogen Guy
Turn the Area 51 satellite death rays inward, maybe. Can they target the museum?

Chuck War
They're not that fine, it'd take out the entire city. Maybe we can rig something up with the GC crew, though.

"You'd be better off destroying the city."

The group turned as one, Helium Girl spilling her hot chocolate into Gen X Man's in surprise (or so she claimed). A good-looking middle-aged man, dressed in the parka and goggles of an Arctic explorer, stood behind Chuck War. His normally smirking demeanour was grave.

Chuck War had his Argon Blast Cannon out and trained on the intruder in the space of a heartbeat.

Chuck War
Who are you?! How'd you get in here?

The man smiled humorlessly. "Like this," he said, and raising his hand, Chuck disappeared in silent flash of light.

Hydrogen Guy
N!! Bring him back!!

N shrugged, and a microsecond later, Chuck War reappeared. He was completely naked but for his strategically placed Argon Blast Cannon.

N
Oops! Sorry about that, Charles.

There was a third flash, and Chuck was once again fully clothed. He looked around in bewilderment.

N
Cold out there, isn't it? Nasty shrinkage.

SuperConductor
Hydrogen Guy? What's going on? Who is this?

Hydrogen Guy grimaced.

Hydrogen Guy
This is N. He was JUST LEAVING.

N
Sorry, James, I would have preferred a private chat without the entire peanut gallery around, but what I have to say is important, and my time here is unfortunately limited.

Deuterium Boy
This isn't a good time, N.

N
No, it most definitely isn't. I've had better times, in fact, being squashed flat and stretched into a cosmic string passing through a black hole.

Hydrogen Guy
We mean it, N. You claim to be omnipotent, so you probably know about the sorceress screwing up the weather and threatening to lay waste to the planet.

Deuterium Boy
It's something of a priority for us right now.

Hydrogen Guy
So unless you plan to wave your hand and make her go away --

N
No, I'm afraid that's something I definitely cannot do. And when I say "cannot", I mean that literally.

Hydrogen Guy
Then piss off!

N
I'm here to help, you idiot! You have only the slenderest chance of defeating the Winter's Heart, and that chance depends entirely on me. Now, do you want my help or not?

Cold drops on her face led Robyn to realise she was standing outside in a snowstorm.

She blinked, trying to clear her vision, then realised the spots were on her glasses. She took them off and wiped them on her sweatshirt, then put them back on. She felt very disoriented.

She was standing at the side of a deserted road, nothing but forest on either side of her. It was snowing. She was dressed in a sweatshirt and jogging pants, and was very cold. There were patches of fresh blood on her clothes, and somehow she knew not all of it was hers.

About four meters away, a standard issue ICBC grey sedan lay overturned in a ditch. The side closest to Robyn had been torn open as if burst from the inside. There were three men, very dead, inside the car.

Robyn didn't have a clue how she got there.

They were miles outside the city. She looked down the road. The road sloped gently downhill, then up, so she was looking across a shallow valley towards the city lights. The city lights were blurred by a haze of falling snow.

From somewhere near the centre of town, a brilliant blue hairline of light stretched into the sky. Its top was hidden by a mass of storm clouds, and it shone as brightly as a pair of full moons, casting unsettling shadows around Robyn's feet.

She began to freak out.

Okay, deep breath. What's the last thing you remember... demon. I'm possessed by a demon! Oh shit oh shit oh shit... breathe, breathe. No demon here now, is there? Okay... Hans-Raoul told the ICBC troopers to take me to someone named Phillips. That's where we were headed, that's them in the car. I remember, we passed 232nd... the one in the front was cute, he flirted with me... we pulled over for an ambulance at 240th... we must be out past Whonnock? Then... was there an accident? ... I killed them, oh shit, I killed them, I remember tearing the cute one's throat out... !!

Whatever clarity Robyn had slipped away. Her eyes blazed red. She was enveloped in a cherry red flash of light, and then the roadside was once again completely deserted.

The Cold Hand of Evil has the City of Maple Ridge in its Icy Grip! Will Corvath be able to defeat the Ice Witch a second time? Will a demonically-possessed Robyn Cheung somehow become involved? What connection does N have to the Winter's Heart, if any? And if heavy hitters like N and Corvath fail, is there any hope for the Diatomic Duo?

Find out in the Conclusion of...

Same Hydrogen Time, Same Hydrogen Website!