He's a rubber skeleton, about two feet tall, with a bit of elastic cord attached to the top of his head. White with painted black eye and nose sockets. "Made in China" is stamped on the bottom of each foot, in small letters.

Doug the rubber skeleton channels the spirit of Doug, the alien astrophysicist and Zen master. He's clairvoyant, apparently omniscient, and invariably vague. He can move, but usually only does so when nobody's looking. He often pops up unexpectedly, leading Hydrogen Guy to speculate unnervingly about teleportation.

Radiant Buddha nature, oneness with all things, and a mysterious sex appeal.

Espresso or vodka. Or both.

All great heroes have their sensai, a venerable wise-man who trains them and offers spiritual direction. King Arthur had Merlin, Luke Skywalker had Obi-wan Kenobi and Yoda, the Karate Kid had Pat Morita. The Diatomic Duo have Doug.

Of course, as Deuterium Boy once put it, "we'd have better luck using a Ouija board". Doug's methods of communication aren't always clear. Sometimes he speaks in bad poetry, sometimes in surreal koans, sometimes in commercial jingles or lost African languages. Mostly he just gurgles. Somehow he managed to train Hydrogen Guy and Deuterium Boy in the Way of the Elemental, I don't know how. Probably flash cards were involved.

The tale of Doug's first meeting with the Diatomic Duo is a tale for another time. Suffice to say for now that both Doug the rubber skeleton and the Ruler of Elendil were passed to Jim Evans by his PhD advisor. The origins of Doug the alien Zen master and astrophysicist are even more obscure, although there are hints that he is quite old.

Doug tries to instill a proper Zen practice in Hydrogen Guy and Deuterium Boy, with mixed success. He himself is often far from exemplary, sometimes going off on lavish gambling sprees with women of questionable morals.